Worst Timing in the World

If they put on Thelonius Monk, you’d want to rock
Bet you hit the sack on Saturday night at eight o’clock
Your two-step missed one somewhere and your hokey pokey’s funky
You got into disco just when everyone turned punk
You got the worst timing in the world

Why’d you drop into my life right now?
Why not months ago when circumstances would allow?
Maybe in a year, things would have fallen into place
Oh, you sure picked a funny time to have to state your case

Well when everyone’s in mourning that’s when you turn up all smiles
Y’ figure one full gas tank lets you drive a hundred thousand miles
You’ll never be a stand up comic though you sure are funny girl
You got the worst timing in the world

Why did you pick this moment to show?
In December I was ready, all dressed up, no place to go
In six months I could say “all right, when do we skip town?”
You sure do pick your spots when you finally get down

It baffles you that L.A. is three hours behind New York
When you went to Tel Aviv you got this craving for pork
On July the 4th you had your Cuban flag unfurled
You got the worst timing in the world

Why’d you put me in such a quandary?
Couldn’t you have gone and done your laundry?
Your choice was all eternity, the dice were yours to throw
Oh, why you’d pick today, I’ll never know

You got the worst timing in–

When the big hand hits the twelve
And the little—aw, forget it–
You got the worst timing in the world

(lyrics: Dan Bern)

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