There was Aaron fucking Boone
And Bucky fucking Dent
Since then the Sox have pretty much
Been Heaven fucking sent
Departing too soon for the party
Was Nomar Garciaparra
This year the savior was Koji Ueharra

Against the best that they could muster
Verlander, Scherzer, Wainwright, Wacha
We even played the greybeard Ross
Over Saltalamachia
To St. Louis where Big Papi
Grabbed his glove and played first happily
We survived and even thrived
Without the services of Napoli

Before 2004, we’d always dread the fall semester
But suddenly the world revolves ‘round Lackey and Lester
Pop the champagne,spill the beer
Raise a glass of Portofino
To Gomes, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Shane Victorino

Whatever happened to The Coyse
It died and we threw it in a hearse
Fenway pressure used to bring it out the worst
We drowned our sorrows with a quenchless thirst
How can a Coyse just simply walk
Was it Manny, was it Schilling’s bloody sock
Beer and chicken couldn’t make it show its face
It’s been gone since Roberts’ steal of second base

Whatever happened to The Coyse
When suddenly you go from worst to first
Baseball gods are shining on Peavy and Pedroia
Yastrzemski, Rice and Clemens
Oughta get themselves a lawyer
Boston ladies, check for gold in your purse
Whatever happened to The Coyse

In Chicago, it’s still goin’
100 years, cold winds still blowin’
Alive in the hallowed Wrigley vines
Even with Theo Epstein

(lyrics: Dan Bern)