TURNS OUT, OHTANI….

 

Turns out Shohei Ohtani is actually 2 guys

2 guys from Japan, roughly the same size

It started as a joke, just a little white lie

But now they gotta keep it up and say Ohtani’s one guy

 

One is a pitcher, throws a hundred miles an hour

One hits homers, got a lot of power

One is Tokyo, one’s from Yokohama

Different Daddys, different Mama

 

Ohtani the pitcher eats fish and drinks martinis

Ohtani the hitter likes coke and roasted weenies

They room together but they don’t hang out a lot

The pitcher likes it cold, and the hitter likes it hot

 

If Ohtani the pitcher ever came up to the plate

He’d strike out every time, he wouldn’t look great

If Ohtani the hitter ever took to the mound

He’d throw it to the backstop or he’d bounce it on the ground

 

Turns out Shohei Ohtani is actually 2 guys

2 guys from Japan, roughly the same size

It started as a joke, just a little white lie

But now they gotta keep it up and say Ohtani’s one guy

 

Last year they split the MVP prize

Turns out Ohtani is actually two guys

(lyrics: Dan Bern)