Talkin’ Al Kida Blues

It was a beautiful day in New York town
Folks jogging, biking, walking ’round
When a couple of airplanes came around
Hit the big towers, knocked ’em down
Worst disaster on US soil ever!
‘Course, there’s the Indians… a few million slaves… Enron… Anyway, it was worse than Pearl Harbor!

President W. was flying around
Far away from New York town
When finally he came on TV,
He said “Why do they hate us? — ’cause we’re free.”
Free to round up dark-skinned bearded guys… Free to detain anyone who might have ties to Osama… Al Qaida… Somewhere in Cleveland there’s some guy named Al Kida — K – I – D – A… He’s freaking out!

Congress quickly rang the bell
And tried to fight those terrorist cells
With laws designed to never let
Our country fall to a terrorist threat
Anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who might be a terrorist — is a terrorist!

There’s terrorists using your email name
Sitting next to you at the ballgame
Terrorists hiding in your bed
Terrorists borrowing your head
Never seen so many terrorists… I had to turn in my own Mom… you know what they say… unpaid parking tickets aids terrorists

There’s laws for this and laws for that
To keep those terrorists under wraps
Some folks disagree with these
And talk of civil liberties
But it’s like the Attorney General says… If in times like these you can talk about individual freedom… you’re probably a terrorist

If you’re planning air travel soon
You might want to think about a weather balloon
Nothing gets past those X-Ray Peekers
And don’t carry nothing in your sneakers
Sorry for all the delays… if you want to get there so dang fast you oughta take the train… “I have never been so insulted”… “Shut up, Dale.”

Well India and Pakistan
Are thinking of trading nuclear bombs
Israel and the PLO —
Suicide’s the way to go
Meanwhile the lessons of 9-1-1 are clear… Let’s blow up the Middle East… Smoking marijuana aids terrorists… Cuba’s our enemy unless we
need a prison camp… John Walker Lindh could be your kid unless we get an economic stimulus package… And let’s get that guy in Cleveland – AL KIDA!

(lyrics: Dan Bern)