Retire Motherfucker

Is life getting the best of you
Hard these days getting your game face on
The post game spread, the greens are wilted
They misquote you, everyplace you turn

You were my inspiration
Couple of light years back
I was your supplication
Runnin down your track, behind the train-you were
Sittin in the dining car

Now here I am standin
In the back of your Lecture Hall
Why are you still the point guard
Give somebody else the ball

Retire motherfucker (3x)
Get out of the way for some new blood
You’ll still survive on your residuals-

I got all your tapes and records
I traded for your baseball card 69 times all told
I got your films on DVD and video
And as much of your aimless ranting as my hard drive can hold

I put you before myself
If there was any question about whose
Designer sweatpants I was gonna push
I’d push your designer sweatpants,
Mine would go unsold

For years I was reverent
For years your footsteps gold
But come on man, for fucks’ sake
You’re 106 years old

Retire motherfucker (3x)
Get out of the way-for some new blood
I’m sure your lawyer, will negotiate
A good pension plan

Now you sit here on this subcommittee
This specially appointed commission behind this great seal
None of your contributions
Have come since the Wright Brothers invented the wheel

Your Daddy’s friends is what put you here
‘N his Daddy’s friends is probably what put your Daddy here
The last thing you believed in
You forgot when the acid wore off your sister put in your beer

I gotta tell ya, everyone’s laughing
& too embarrassed to confess
But you ain’t had no trousers
Since the innaugual address

Retire motherfucker (3x)
You can still wear those suits & have girls around
The Secret Service will continue
To protect your mother….

(lyrics: Dan Bern)

This song appears on: