Questions For The Waitress

5 seconds is a long time
Longer than you think
‘Specially in El Salvador
For the people mining zinc
How long can they survive under duress?
Well that’s a good question for the waitress

Some work fourteen hours
Others only four
Others punch their time cards in
Then head right for the door
Why can’t some people handle any stress?
That’s another good question for the waitress

What’s the difference between a duck
Is it a jinx to say good luck
How many potatoes make five
Should proven killers be given knives
Did the three wise men begin in San Francisco
What would prehistoric men have thought of disco
Is it fun to catch the flu
And were the three blind mice deaf too
Oh was Betsy Ross nicknamed Bess
Those are all some good questions for the waitress

Well I thought I had a case of tonsillitis
My doctor said no no no no no no no no no
You got a slight Vitas Gerulaitis
It’s going around right now I must confess
But why would be a question for the waitress

Five seconds is a very very very long time
Much longer than you think
‘Specially if people want to kill you
Like if you’re a chinchilla or a mink
I will promise publicly to undress
If you will ask these questions of the waitress

Is it a sin to tell the truth
Is milk healthier than vermouth
Why don’t frogs bury bones
What’s another word for telephone
Before you learn to look must you learn to see
If you killed a cow would it be a Guernsey
Who cracked the Liberty Bell
Is the farmer still in the dell
If you threw rotten eggs in a forest would there be a mess
Those are all some good questions for the waitress

(lyrics: Dan Bern)

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