Infinitely many monkeys in infinitely many towns
Sitting at infinitely many typewriters, pushing infinitely many keys down
Using infinitely many pages over infinitely many days
Eventually wrote this song–

If the song had ended there it wouldn’t have taken so long
Maybe a couple of months, I mean there were infinitely many of them
But no, I had to go, I had to go and make it complicated–

(Gibberish)

Of the infinitely many monkeys in infinitely many towns
Sitting at infinitely many typewriters pushing infinitely many keys down
Using infinitely many pages over infinitely many days
The one who eventually wrote this song was named Phil

Phil Phil
The monkey who wrote it was Phil
Phil Phil Phil Phil
Sort of a prepossessed, self-absorbed little monkey
So that means that it’s now a prerequisite that the monkey who finally
wrote this song had that name—

Infinitely many monkeys all named Phil
Sitting in infinitely many towns pushing infinitely many keys down
Infinitely many monkeys all named Phil
Eventually wrote this song

Phil was not the monkey who eventually typed out Hamlet
That was his friend Doug in September of ‘77
But on the way to writing down this song
Phil also came up with a preface for a book about gardening
And something called “How To Build Bombs In Your Basement”
And a book entitled “The Satanic Verses II,” subtitled
“What Salman Rushdie Was Afraid To Say To The Ayatollah”

Infinitely many monkeys all named Phil
In infinitely many towns pushing infinitely many keys down
Infinitely many monkeys…

(Gibberish)

(lyrics: Dan Bern)