Osama in Obamaland

Well they finally caught Osama bin Laden
In the caves of Pakistan, and Obama was a hero
They brought Osama to New York for trial, got the best
Jew lawyer in town, name of Shapiro
He argued for a change of venue
No fair trial in New York City
In New York City, Osama, he gets raped
And while this was going on, Osama started tunneling
And finally, Osama, he escaped

Found himself on a street corner in Hoboken New Jersey
And he started heading south
He knew he better drop that accent pretty quick
Or theyd catch him once he opened up his mouth
He headed for the only friendly place he could think of
In the whole United States, and off he pushed
Caught a Greyhound bus to Houston, in Texas
And he made it to the family ranch of George W Bush

Now Double You he welcomes Osama with the open arms
That only old friends welcome one another
I hear you got sprung – Good job my Muslim son –
– Lets go huntin – how can I help you my brother? –
Bush says, Stay as long as you wish
Osama says, I ask you only this
Teach me how to blend in in this land
Dubya takes him by the hand
Shows him how to spit and stand
And how to talk like an American

Osama in Obamaland
Osama in Obamaland
Osama in Obamaland
A tale of love, betrayal and redemption
A tale of love, betrayal and redemption

After three whole weeks of this
Osama’s talkin like a hick
And he figures time to hit the road again
They shoot lizards for good luck
Laura bakes him cakes with pot
And he starts to hitchin west out on the 10
He heads out for the coast to see the ghosts of Koufax, Robinson
Up on that Ravine they call Chavez
And he sits there with his beard
Eatin hotdogs, drinkin beer
They all figure he’s one of those guys dressed like Manny Ramirez

He hangs with ZZ Top
He dances till he drops
He is full-on assimilating into American society
Gets a job at KFC, which considering the economy
Is not such a terrible place to be
Starts playing drums on the street
He’s good, he’s got that beat
He joins a band, they’re playin Sundays on the beach
Finds a girl, she takes him home
He starts crashing at her Dome
And starts talking about his past in his sleep

Well she turns him in, Lord
For the Million Bucks Reward
No hard feelings, it’s America, it’s hip
They throw him back in jail
And this time there’s a trial
Bigger ‘n O.J., bigger ‘n Janet Jackson’s Nip
Shapiro gets him off, argues well, hearts turn soft
He moves to Pittsburgh, studies Law, becomes a Priest
And tween the Arabs and the Jews Jubilation at the News
And a thousand years of peace

Now there’s many great tales
In this great great land
George Washington cuttin down that tree
Seventy-two ounce steaks
Johnny Cash, Ten Thousand Lakes
Frederick Douglas, Rosa Parks, Robert E. Lee
Now alongside the Corvette, In-N-Out Burger, Gillette
There’a tale the History books are sure to mention
Osama in Obamaland, a tale of love, betrayal and redemption

Osama in Obamaland
Osama in Obamaland
Osama in Obamaland
A tale of love, betrayal and redemption
A tale of love, betrayal and redemption

(lyrics: Dan Bern)