The old waitress in the diner
Could easily be my grandma
‘Cept she talks a little different,
I think she’s from Alabama
She’s always asking me
If I want more toast and jam
She brings extra fried potatoes
To my table when she can

She makes me eat a balanced meal
She’s always asking how I feel;
When I ain’t slept enough again
I look as though I’m sick and then
She gives me an aspirin
And tells me it’s not a sin
To rest orr even now and then
To stay in bed all day

The old waitress in the diner
Could easily be my grandma
‘cept she talks a little different
I bet she’s from Alabama
Sometimes she asks me questions
‘bout my family and friends
She brings warm bread from the baker
And doesn’t charge me for the ends

Last week I saw her crying
She wore black gloves and a shawl
She was pleading with some gentleman
With a southern drawl
He pulled away and left her
By the theater alone
I wanted to go up to her
But I was on the phone
And anyway, I wouldn’t have had much to say
I guess it’d be better if she would just stay–

The old waitress in the diner
Who could easily be my grandma
‘cept she talks a little different
Cause she comes from Alabama
She don’t ask much anymore
If I want more toast and jam
I don’t tip her what I used to
But I give her what I can

Well I eat out much less often now
The food don’t taste as good somehow
And money’s tight and what the hell
I get more rest,
It’s just as well…

(lyrics: Dan Bern)