Now It Can Be Told

I took a vow of silence to the jungle of Brazil
I had a nice time but wasn’t very quiet, what with the all the monkeys and the birds and the anthropologists
getting stoned every night and throwing bottles in the Amazon
But now it can be told
Now it can be told
Now I’m back and I can’t stop talking
Now it can be told

An annoyed Dr Freud told me to avoid
Everything that I enjoyed up to the age of 23
He turned on the TV, said in 12 BC
They invented Lipton tea
Then he tried to fucking straddle me
I jumped off the couch and I ran up the stair
Where Mario Andretti wasn’t wearing any underwear
A tape started playing in super high fidelity
Something bout a strict vow of confidentiality

But now it can be told
Now it can be told
Now I’m back and I can’ stop talking
Now it can be told

Now it can be told, now it can be spoken
Buildings will fall, records will be broken
You can’t hide the alien sitting in your head
No more secrets, it’s all bein’ said

Behind closed doors I wax my floors and plan world wars
with peace core volunteers, bum steers Richard Gere, all-color-tempa-cheer
I floss my teeth with strips of cloth, sticks of wheat, hunks of meat I find out on the street
when I meet with the people that I cheat, when I cut their stuff with walnuts, cat guts and other kinds of stuff
but no one suspects ‘cause my doors are always shut, but

Now it can be told
Now it can be told
Now I’m back and I can’ stop talking
Now it can be told

Abraham Lincoln wasn’t getting his share
Of the one thing guys want everywhere
But little shorty told him, little shorty gonna get it
Little shorty told him Abe, babe, don’t you even sweat it
Little shorty come back, he wasn’t even blinking
With a woman that he introduced as Mary Todd Lincoln
Little Shorty said Abe, you’ve got it made in the shade
Here’s your babe, Honest Abe, she’s paid, get laid

Now it can be told, now it can be spoken
Buildings will fall, records will be broken
You can’t hide the alien sittin in your cupboard
No more secrets, everything is uttered

I took a vow of silence to the outback of Australia
I saw a kangaroo in full kangaroo regalia
But just as I was in the southern hemisphere thick of it
I started getting dizzy, yeah I started gettin sick of it
I jumped in the ocean and the minute I got wet
I started talk-talk-talkin and I haven’t stopped yet

Now it can be told
Now it can be told
Now I’m back and I can’ stop talking
Now it can be told

(lyrics: Dan Bern)

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