You were my hooker
You were my slave
You were my undertaker
You dug me a grave
You were my stripper
You were my friend
You were the one
For whom I’d extend
You made me suffer
You made me flow
You made me horny
You made me grow
You made me quiver
You made me scream
You taught me new ways
Of eating ice cream
You were my clotheline
You were my cop
You were my dancer
After they would all drop
You were my mistress
You’re my caboose
You were my weaknessAnd my excuse
You were my habit
You were my crutch
You were my drug that
I craved so much
You were my doctor
You were my saint
You were my angel
With a constant complaint
You made me whimper
You made me tall
You made me feel like
I’s in juvenille hall
You gave me headaches
You gave me fear
You gave me words that
I needed to hear
You were my prancer
You were my shield
You were my punishment
For playing the field
You were my teacher
You were my child
You were my fantasy
Driving me wild
You were my secretary
You were my boss
You were my victim
I was your loss
I was your boneman
I was your stud
I was your reason
For once-a-month blood
I was your candy
Makin’ you wince
I was your pusher
I was your prince
I was your needle
I was your shot
I was your piston
I got you hot
I was your Daddy
I was your boy
I was your Santa Claus
With a shiny new toy
I was your wise man
I was your realm
I was your director
And this was my film
I gave you reason
I gave you rhyme
I gave you focus
I was never on time
I kept you guessing
I kept you chained
I kept you hoping
It was all gonna change
I loved your looks
And the smell of your hair
When you took your clothes off
I couldn’t help stare
I gave you money
You gave me soap
I brought you flowers
You brought me dope
We played all kinds of
Different games
We gave each other
Different names
You gave me pleasure
Simple and raw
I gave you attention
And I wasn’t your pa
You were all scattered
I was depressed
We got each other
Out of that mess
You always aroused me
I got you all primed
Maybe I’ll understand you
One of these times
(lyrics: Dan Bern)