The wheelchair judge was toughest on sex offenders
He said “I judge impartially, and not from my condition.”
I said “How can you be sure?”

I started writing graffiti on trash containers
Stuff like “The wheelchair judge was toughest on sex offenders”
That one you can find on one in Washington
DC, not state

They say that there’s a coming financial crisis
Comin’ that we can’t do nothing about
Myself, I don’t really feel it
I took Eric’s binoculars he didn’t even know

The thing about my dad you oughta know
Is that he sat around eating garlic
At parties, he read all the ladies’ palms
Quite a guy my dad, quite a guy

Once upon a time I thought a promise was this thing you strained tea with

Pretty strange the way things go sometimes
It took Mark McGuire to make Roger Maris famous
The emperor has still got no clothes on
Maybe all the emperors’ oughta just go naked

Once upon a time I thought Texas was part of Mississippi
Once upon a time, I thought Solon was the end of the line

I’ve spent much more time in a plane
Than any president before Hoover
Sometimes I don’t know where I’m going
But I bet neither did they

Outside the window, a plane just flew past the treetops
My dog needs water, gonna stop so she can get some
So she can get some

(lyrics: Dan Bern)