Dream Girl Waitress Blues

I saw her at the counter at the upstairs luncheonette
Her looks could have made a suicide case of every penthouse pet
I melted in my coffee cup along with my sugar and my cream
My eyes were round like saucers and my ears emitted steam

I was eating with my sister, staring at this godsend
I didn’t want her thinking that my sister was my girlfriend

I said, gosh sis, my sister dear, should we get us some dessert
After all we’re both so physically fit that some ice cream wouldn‘t hurt
My dream girl looked at me, I was excited and oh so proud
Then I noticed everybody was looking at me, I guess I sometimes talk kinda loud

My neck was getting stiff, and some other parts as well
What I mean to say is this, golly gee that girl was swell

My sister offered to pay the bill, I said I’ll look cheap if you do
She slipped some bills ‘neath the table and my finger caught in her shoe
I rose to pay and my sis fell back and the table crashed down upon her
My dream girl never even looked my way, and poor sis was a goner

I was overcharged to boot
Though my tip was a huge sum
My indigestion was acute
Yeah you win some and you lose some

(lyrics: Dan Bern)

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