Now don’t get me wrong here
I’m glad I’m not the mayor
I don’t want to be the guy that everybody’s pissed at
‘Cause the phones don’t work

And I’m glad I’m not the governor
I don’t want to be the guy everybody’s pissed at
‘Cause the kids all ride skateboards
And wear stupid t-shirts
And are stupid

And I’m glad I’m not the president
I don’t want to be the guy that everybody’s pissed at
On account of the girl who just ran out my back door
Carrying her shoes and her underwear in her teeth

But I think it would be really great
If one day a year everybody stopped what they were doing
And painted a picture on the wall

The president would make sure no one would have to work
By making it a national holiday
The governor would allocate funds
So that everyone would have brushes and paint
The mayor would set up a delivery system
So everybody could get the stuff
And one day a year everybody would just paint

Maybe there’d be assignments at first;
Paint a dog,
paint a flower
Paint your own foot
Or just go paint whatever

And sure there’d be problems
The people who worked in health care would still have to work
And the ambulance drivers
And, okay, maybe even the police
Although if people got in fights over the paintings, as they will
Maybe it would be best just to leave them at it
Or not
I don’t know
That’s for the mayor to decide
That’s for the governor to decide
That’s for the president to decide
Maybe he can ask his little girl friend
“Do you think we should still have the police on Painting Day?”
“No, honey”

And of course people would still need to eat
And I am tempted to say
Well, let’s have it be Cooking Day, too
Except people in places like New York City have forgotten how to cook
Maybe we’ll have to make that another day

And I guarantee, that for the president
Who actually makes National Painting Day a reality
They’ll repeal the 26th amendment
Or the 27th or the 25th
Or whichever the one is about you can only be elected to 2 terms
That they put in after Roosevelt
I bet that president’s going to be really popular
And if you add to that painting in the nude
People might just make you
Dictator

(lyrics: Dan Bern)