When Willy Mays
Was old and tired
He was just another player
Sometimes when I
Get really tired
I think of Willie Mays

Pete Sampras serves
Like a gun
But Michael Chang
He has to run and run
He works so hard
Doo lang doo lang
Sometimes I think of Michael Chang

Shaquille O’Neil
And Michael Jordan
Needed Phil Jackson
To come along
Sometimes I think
I need Phil Jackson
To bring a system to my life

We should all have
Our own box score
In the paper
Every day
Stupid thing said – seven
Acts of kindness -one
Jealous moments – six
Masturbated – four

I say stand up
You say “stand up”
I say sit down
You say “sit down”
I say fight fight fight
You say “fight fight fight”
You might be small
But you gotta play large
Game seven of the series starts tonight

Cy Young
Had the most
Wins by any pitcher
Cy Young
Had the most
Losses by any pitcher

(lyrics: Dan Bern)