Confused Little Girl

A little girl I knew lived in a very big building
In a big apartment house in New York
Her daddy came from Italy, her mama came from Scotland
Her mama said, “It’s time for your bed. You’d better put your jammies on”

So she got into bed
Her daddy said, “What? I thought we was gonna play blackjack.”
So she got out of bed, her mama said,
“I thought I told you once to get into bed,”
So she got back in bed, her daddy said, “What, you no wanna play blackjack? You stupid-a daughter, I shoulda hadda son,”

Confused little girl
Confused little girl

So she stood there uncertain, undressed in limbo
When their neighbor, Mrs Greenblatt came along
She said, “Look, I’m making raspberry rugula? You wanna try it”
And she did and it was good
But her mama said “I thought I told you no sweeties before bedtime”
And her daddy said, “ya sure, you no smoke-a my cigar but you eat that Yid food, you stupid-a girl,”

Confused little girl
Confused little girl

Then another neighbour,
Moinseur Jacques, came over and he said,
“My dear girl you are as pretty as a picture……I would like to eat you up…
…like a little croissant …for breakfast…would you come away with me mon p’tit chou?”
And Mrs. Greenblatt said, “A wedding? I’ll make kreplach, I’ll make challah…”
And her Mama said, “If you’re going to get married you better get yer beauty rest”
And her daddy said, “Who is this guy, I’ll cut his throat for ya,”

Confused little girl
Confused little girl

Then Mr. Otis Watson from across the hall
Came in , carrying his guitar
He said “Look, I got just the thing for ya, I’m gonna learn you to play the blues, just like me…you wanna learn to play the blues?”
And Moinseur Jacques said “Would you come away with me”
Mrs. Greenblatt said “You hungry?”
And her Mama said “You tired?”
And her daddy said You want to play a little blackjack now?”

Confused little girl
Confused little girl

So she grew up
Became a confused young woman
Got a confused little job
In a confused little office
But one day she said, “Hey, man, I’m confused”
So she went to see a therapist
She poured out her heart
She said “Man I’m confused”
“Is there anything you can do to help?”

He listened very carefully
Lit a cigarette
Thoughtfully stroked his chin
And then he said
“I don’t see what the problem is
“You seem perfectly all right to me
“Maybe you should have something to eat
“Or get some rest
“Or play a little blackjack, make your Daddy happy, huh?”

Normal, sane little world
Confused little girl

(lyrics: Dan Bern)

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