Round here, I’m a green horn
Don’t know the Crips or the Bloods or the Dykes
I’m your great granddad from Poland
Emigrating on a trike
Now you can put me to hard labor
Waterboard me, do what you like
I will not be caught dead riding one of them
Blue Citibank Credit Card Rental Bikes

I’ve done dumb things in Africa
I lost a duck race once in Guam
I tried to get a law passed to change the name of Mississippi
To New South Vietnam
But if you think I got no shame
You can just take a hike
I will not be caught dead riding one of them
Blue Citibank Credit Card Rental Bikes

Maybe I will see some cool girls riding on them
Maybe then I’ll have to change my opinion of them
After all, if you’re in town for just a few days
What could be more perfect….

But for now, they can shut the subway down
And the taxis and the buses, day and night
They can tell me I’m late for my heart transplant
And they’re gonna give it to another guy
I’ll be late to my own funeral
Tell the diggers to go on strike

I will not be caught dead riding one of them
Blue Citibank Credit Card Rental Bikes
I will not be caught dead riding one of them
Blue Citibank Credit Card Rental Bikes

(lyrics: Dan Bern)