I’m as cranky as a bitch
All I wanna do is spit
Ain’t nothing to eat after that feast
Been gettin’ laid regular at least
And I don’t wanna hurt you
So stay out of my way today

Every twenty eight days women bleed
Unless they get too much of your seed
But men gotta flush themselves out, too
But it’s always sexual when they do
You women
You just stick some pad inside
Men gotta practically fall in fucking love

Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees

Let’s not beat around the bush that’s bad luck
I asked you in ’cause I wanna fuck

I asked you out ’cause I was hungry
But now I’m basically just tired
You don’t have to leave
You can stay here
After all, this is still a love song

Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees

(lyrics: Dan Bern)