Josef Amerikovsky changed his name
Moved to Omaha and became
John Joseph Jim America, got taller and thinner
Said call me what you like, just don’t call me late for dinner

I jumped on a train from Romania to New York
Every item on the menu was lobster or pork
I ate my fill then I ate some more
I started to smell like some kind of French whore

I went back to Romania to search for my roots
Found a smashed grave stone and an old pair of boots
With Amerikovsky carved in the heel
I started to feel like some kind of fifth wheel

Where do I fit in,where do I belong
With my sad sack soul and my sack full of songs
And my slice second serve and primordial scream
And my saxophone nose sniffing my American dream

Sitting at the bar nursing a slow gin fizz
Nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
You can’t sign your name till you know what it is
Nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

Cancel the pieroshki, give me Chef Boyardee
Forget David’s slingshot, turn on and see Latrelle Sprewell
Shake and shiver and take Smits and Sabonis to the hole
Pick and roll, Interpol, Ol’ Man River, Grassy Knoll

I stand above Amerikovsky’s grave
My head is pounding from last night’s rave
When Dr. Dreznevitsky became Dr. Dre
And Moses went on Oprah and admitted he was gay

On Amerikovsky’s grave I shed a couple tears
Say my 3 Rumanian words, drink my 3 Rumanian beers
Then I fly back to Atlanta, I got tickets for the game
Who’s in the bullpen, what’s in a name?

Sitting at the bar, nursing a slow gin fizz
You can’t sign your name, till you know what it is

(lyrics: Dan Bern)