While riding down the highway with Cowboy Joe
I met Leonardo DiCaprio
Leo, he’s tryin to get away from
The unwanted advances of Eminem
Em’s wearing drawstrings and lispin’ along
Sayin’ “please put me into your highway song”
I say hey, who’s goin’ my way
On that great Alaska Highway

I would never be so dumb
To say they stole an election
They bought the damn thing fair and square
The emperor’s in his underwear
Old King Cole’s a merry old troll
Surgeon General smokes Marlboro
I say hey, who’s goin’ my way
On that great Alaska Highway

Commandent Three says Do Not Kill
Amendment Two says Blood Will Spill
God sits in his rocking chair
With two flat tires and one good spare
Britney Spears joins Cowboy Joe
With a hey and a ho and a do si do
I say hey, who’s goin’ my way
On that great Alaska Highway

West Palm Beach and Cheech and
Rae Dawn Chong, can’t we all just get along
Anchored down in Kodiak
With a heart attack ak-ak-ak-ak-ak
You oughta know by now,
By Joel

While hanging out with Cowboy Joe
Keith Richards stops to say hello
I play my guitar, he plays along
With song after song after song after song
Now that I’ve played with the likes of him
Ain’t never gonna settle for less, my friend
I say hey, who’s goin’ my way
On that great Alaska Highway

(lyrics: Dan Bern)