Mister lister
Mister lister, mister lister
He makes Listerine
Sometimes life is hectic and you need an antiseptic
That’s was mr. lister does, rum pum pum!

Mister Kleenex
Mister Kleenex, mister Kleenex
He makes Kleenex tissues
He makes Kleenex tissues
For when you go achoo!
That’s what mr. Kleenex does, rum pum pum!

Mister colgate
Mister colgate, mister colgate
He makes colgate toothpaste
He makes colgate toothpaste
So enamel does not go to waste
That’s what mr. colgate does, rum pum pum pum pum!

Philadelphia
Philadelphia, Philadelphia
They make all the cream cheese
That’s what they finagle
Little schmear for your bagel
That’s what Philadelphia does, rum pum pum

Whistle

Mister Schwinn
Mister Schwinn, Mister Schwinn
He makes bicycles
He makes all the bicycles
For when you outgrow tricycles
That’s what Mr. Schwinn does, rum pum pum pum pum!

Mister Schwinn
Philadelphia
Mister Colgate
Mister Kleenex
Mister Lister
Mister Lister
That’s what Mister Lister does–
Rum pum pum!!!

(lyrics: Dan Bern)