I saw the Dalai Lama at the Hollywood Bowl
Talking to the people with their beepers and their cell phones
Wilt Chamberlain, he’s all gone
Shaquille O’Neal keeps rapping on—

Gimme my goddamn Jack Kramer wood fucking racket
I can’t keep it on the court no more
Give me my goddamn Jack Kramer wood fucking racket
Something I can hold on to

Livin day by day livin hand to mouth
Try goin’ north, keep on headin south
Maybe If I had a pension plan, maybe if I had a wife
Maybe if I’d ever had a plan in my life

Give me my goddamn Jack Kramer wood fucking racket
I can’t keep it on the court no more
Give me my goddamn Jack Kramer wood fucking racket
Something I can hold on too

This one is too light
This one is too tight
This one I can hardly even feel
I don’t believe it’s real

Well I saw the Dalai Lama at the Hollywood Bowl
Goldie Hawn was there and some people from some soap opera
I wanted to ask him, how do you get along
When the rest of the world ain’t singing your song

Give me my goddamn Jack Kramer wood fucking racket
I can’t keep it on the lines no more
Give me my goddamn Jack Kramer wood fucking racket
Something I can hold on to

(lyrics: Dan Bern)