I used to take my kids
Out to the park
Teach em how to catch and hit and throw
But now we spend our time
Learning how to steal signs
That’s how the modern game goes

chorus:
If I bang a garbage can
It’s a fastball
Flap my arms like a chicken
It’s a curve
If I moo like a cow
It’s a 4-seam slider
Gonna give my kids the training they deserve

We used to get out
To the stadium early
Get an autograph from
Kershaw or MadBum
But now we’re hoping
To get a glove signed
By the guy in centerfield
With the drum

chorus

(lyrics: Dan Bern)