I got some shitty speakers, put ‘em in a good speaker box
Stuck them in a van and sold ‘em up and down Fairfax
Everybody figured they were stolen, and that’s why they were such a good deal
But it was just a case of Sears inside of JBL

Profound truths are nice, like eat where the truck drivers stop
Profound truths are nice, but sometimes you just got to make a buck

The LA Weekly has pages of ads for phone sex
I read ‘em but I never call ‘cause I don’t have a credit card
I once got a job impersonating a physician on the phone
Calling hospitals and selling ‘em a device that tests for chlamydia

Profound truths are nice, like cigarette burns on the car decrease resale value
Profound truths are nice, but mostly I just avoid the police

I take showers, I comb my hair
I never talk to God when I’m in my underwear
I look at the moon a lot and think of traveling
To Australia, someday

I made some suggestions to the bank where I have an account
They adopted one of them , and let me buy a money order free of charge
Every time I go in now, the manager says, have you seen ‘em
Referring to the pens that now face the customers, I say yes

Profound truths are nice, like a stitch in time saves 10
Profound truths are nice, but baby you are my Big Fat Hen

(lyrics: Dan Bern)