A certain raccoon lived by the interstate
One day he went looking to find a mate
But alas and alack he was dressed to kill
And he flipped for an ’80 Cadillac Seville

Kill that deer, mash that cat
Just be sure you’re sauced
Foot to the pedal and pedal to the metal
Doing the highway holocaust

Tired out from a three mile uphill climb
Two Goodyear tires said it’s suppertime
They went around without a sound then with a whirl– voila
Filet of disemboweled squirrel

Tell me when a hound is not a hound
When it’s stretched from Peoria to Puget Sound
It’s a 60 minute drive up to Duluth
Or 59 via a couple of moose

Out west the scene is no less bleak
They’ve outlawed auto safety week
Drove north after seeing some far out Californians
Got a scenic view of some inner oregons

Kill that deer, mash that cat
Just be sure you’re sauced
Foot to the pedal and pedal to the metal
Doing the highway holocaust

Now if elk trampled humans in shopping malls.
If deer hung our faces on their living room walls
They could also stop this turnpike terror
But for now they’ve got no bargaining power

Now when anything dies it’s a tragedy
So I drove here to say “Drive carefully”
But on the way I hit a dog, it seemed so unfair
Do you know what I got to shell out for repairs?

Kill that deer, mash that cat
Just be sure you’re sauced
Foot to the pedal and pedal to the metal
Doing the highway holocaust

(lyrics: Dan Bern)