I’m a funeral junkie
They always make me cry
There’s just a little something
When somebody dies
Sometimes I need to sit
Through three or four a week
Sometimes I don’t know anybody
And I still get up and speak

Sometimes the casket’s opened
Sometimes the casket’s closed
I dress up like an African
In my crying clothes

Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure

Sometimes they cremate ‘em
Put the ashes in an urn
They can burn or they can bury them
They ain’t going to return
Sometimes I think if I wish hard enough
I can make ‘em come alive
Make ‘em walk around and live again
So far I’m 0 for 55

It says in Ecclesiastes
These are fleeting days indeed
If you’re lucky and you love someone
Fleeting days take heed

Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure

Well I get to every funeral I can possibly attend
I like making sure this all going to end
Yeah, I get to every funeral I can possibly get
I like making sure my funeral hasn’t happened yet

You might be comin’ from the palace
Or down by the river bed
But where you’re headin is the dust
And you’re gone with the wind

Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure

Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure
Sure sure sure

I’m a funeral junkie
Sure sure sure

I’m a funeral junkie
Sure sure sure

(lyrics: Dan Bern)