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Raised up my hand & said I solemnly swear
One January day
And just like that I was the president
Of the U.S.A.
There were limos, bands & speeches
Parties to go to
I said all that will have to wait
There's so much to do
My first day I offered statehood
To Cuba & Mexico
Cuba: 1 state, Mexico: 6
All or nothing, that's how it goes
No more border patrols & human smuggling
We'll deal with our own neighborhood
And a few more stars & some green in the flag
Seems like, it might be good
And maybe Israel & Palestine
Will follow our lead and just combine
And then become Israelstine -- who knows?
Anyway, that's my first day
Second day I told Detroit Start makin' cars that don't use gas
And I give everybody a big rebate, 'n' they
Started sellin' fast
We'll stop burnin' up the air we breathe
And makin' the planet boil
And we won't have to kiss the ass
Of whoever's got the oil
Since before Hoover, the farmers have got
The short end of the stick
With the help of our Cuban brothers
We'll go communistic (collective farms!)
Capitalism is a fine thing
If it works, then great, OK
But if it don't, you gotta try something else
That's what I did on my 3rd day
The 4th day all of our troops came home
From all around the earth
Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran
More trouble than they're worth
And I was tempted to say "I'm sorry
We'll rebuild you with money and men"
But I just said, "You're on your own
And don't fuck with us again"
My 5th day I changed the army
So it's all of us or none
We'll all tie knots and walk through mud
Pitch tents and fire a gun
With just a few of us as warriors
And the rest of us gone soft
Martians could come and zap us
Ain't gonna happen on my watch
Day 6 I swore no prisoner more
Would face his death inside
Thou shalt not kill, applies to us all
Too many mistakes besides
Day 6 I swore no prisoners more
Would ever face his death
At least until my jury hears
The crimes of President Bush
Day 7 was hot, I legalized pot
And none of this decriminalizing crap
Let it grow in glory, end of story
Then I burned one & took a nap
Hemp will help the farmers
We'll grow hemp everywhere
One acre of hemp's like 10 acres of trees
And hemp grows back next year!
My 8th day I made health care
Apply to everyone
If you get sick, see a doctor
That's how my government's run
And by the way abortion
Is included in this plan
No one tells a girl how to treat her body
Least of all some man
My 9th day I said sorry
This government is no fool
Ain't gonna play you exra to send your kid to some
Weird-ass, wacko school
We'll do our best to make our schools
The best anyplace on earth
If they ain't good enough, think about it
Before you go give birth
My 10th day I made it OK
To marry whoever you
Would be willing to ride with
On a bicycle built for two
Marry a woman, marry a man
Marry a monkey too
Marry a big old rhino
And visit him at the zoo
And that was my first 10 days
My first 2 working weeks
Lots of work for the bureaucrats
And the paper-pushing geeks
Next we'll need a time
To go and just have fun
So we added some new holidays
The next week, one by one
Monday was national nude day
Everyone disrobed
Tuesday was national stoned day
Everyone got stoned
Wednesday was national painting day
Thursday no television
Friday was tennis, John McEnroe helped
From his cabinet position
Saturday, sex with impunity day
With no repercussions
Sunday, do it all: Nude, stoned, tennis, painting, sex, no tv -- enjoy!
Just be ready for work on Monday
My cabinet, as previously mentioned
Includes John McEnroe
And Wavy Gravy and Michael Franti
And Ani DiFranco
Muhammad Ali, Madonna, Maya Angelou, Brad Pitt (for the ladies)
And Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky
And we'll watch 'em both go at it
Next we'll get that Stephen Hawking
And make him a citizen and stuff
He's the smartest guy in the world
England's had him long enough
And I will not run for re-election
Four years enough of this
'Cause between you and me
I hate politics
I raised up my hand & said I solemnly swear
One January day
And just like that, I was the president
Of the U.S.A.
Just like that
Just like that
Just like that I was the president Of the U.S.A.
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I had a dream and
I had a dream and
I had a dream right now
Somethin' bout Guantanamo Bay and somethin' bout all these cows
I had a dream and
I had a dream and
I had a dream right now
Somethin' bout Guantanamo Bay and somethin' bout all these cows
Abraham and Jesus and Mohammed all came down
Heard there was a meeting down in Bat Sheba town
Abraham was detained, his passport not in order
Said you got no papers to get across the border
Jesus had no money, his entry was refused
He became a soldier, a killer for the Jews
Mohammed still had one chance, to try to help save us
But just as he was coming, they blew up Mohammed's bus
I had a dream and
I had a dream and
I had a dream right now
Somethin' bout Guantanamo Bay and somethin' bout all them cows
I had a dream and
I had a dream and
I had a dream right now
Somethin' bout Guantanamo Bay and somethin' bout all them cows
The chariots arrived and the roadmap was set down
They searched every house and everyone in town
Buildings exploded, fire fell like rain
The seas were burning, and the great winds came
Call now all your prophets, and your prophet's sons
Go down to the water, say a prayer if you have one
I had a dream and
I had a dream and
I had a dream right now
Somethin' bout Guantanamo Bay and somethin' bout all these cows
I had a dream and
I had a dream and
I had a dream right now
Somethin' bout Guantanamo Bay and somethin' bout all these cows
The devil made his meeting, he ran unopposed
The devil got his wishes while we watched TV and dozed
The devil did the talk shows and lit the Olympic flame
The devil threw the first ball out at the All-Star Game
The devil was a diplomat, the devil was a CEO
The devil remembered your first name, the devil was a pro
I had a dream and
I had a dream and
I had a dream right now
Somethin' bout Guantanamo Bay and somethin' bout all these cows
The Holy Roman Empire was brought down to its knees
For trying to bring the empire across the seven seas
There's a time for love and there's a time for war
And there's a time for looting guns from the liquor store
There's a time for revolution, Thomas Jefferson said that
There's a time for playing by the rules and a time to cork your bat
I had a dream and
I had a dream and
I had a dream right now
Somethin' bout Guantanamo Bay and somethin' bout all these cows
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Bush says world wide protests
Won't change his approach to Iraq
Well what a surprise
I thought he listened to the people of the world
I thought he woke up every day and
Asked his secretary
What are folks protesting
Who should we be listening to besides ourselves
There are people, maybe even you
Who think opinion polls equals democracy
'Round here the grownups talk of should or should we not
Meanwhile the kids, they know we're going to war
Tyranny - oh it comes in many shapes and sizes
Tyranny - but when it comes, it comes with no surprises
People will tell you that
Everything worth doing
Is in the past
Already has been done
Maybe I never studied
Hard enough in science
But my chances
To go back in time are none
Where is my wandering nation tonight
Well I'm sitting on top of this flagpole
How crazy am I?
Crazy enough to sit here
Until all the bombs are used or sold or stolen
The news London and the news from Marrakesh
And the news from Palestine and Islamabad
And the news from Baghdad and the news from New York City
It's the same news all the world over
Tyranny - oh it comes in many shapes and sizes
Tyranny - but when it comes, it comes with no surprises
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The big birds have gathered in the marketplace
You can hear a shuffling sound
Very very busy with their goings on
But their heads are underground
But the shops are open and the sun is out
And they fill their baskets full
And the coffee's warm and the paper's here
And all the news is good
In Ostrich Town -- Paint me with roses
Ostrich Town -- Something Copeland composes
Ostrich Town -- Just bury your noses down
In Ostrich Town
At night the birds rest easy
It's the dreamy sleep of birds
In the morning wash their dreams away
With television words
Doctor Bird brings Thorazine
To calm down all their fears
The pastor peels his onions
They file past and shed their tears
In Ostrich Town -- Paint me with roses
Ostrich Town -- Something Copeland composes
Ostrich Town -- Just bury your noses down
In Ostrich Town
Who could ask for more?
Who could ask for more?
Mom and Dad and all the kids
With their head under the floor
They're decent and they're neighborly
The nicest sorts of birds
They always sweep their sidewalks
At least that's what I've heard
They once lived by the ocean
But it's safer here inland
Somewhere bombs are falling
Time to duck under the sand
In Ostrich Town -- Paint me with roses
Ostrich Town -- Something Copeland composes
Ostrich Town -- Just bury your noses down
In Ostrich Town
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I shot two men in a military car
On a road in a country I can't pronounce
I saw their eyes when I pulled the trigger
Then checked the back seat for the body count
I know I'm lucky, I could have been
The one beneath the clover
But who do you think will push my chair
After the parade is over
A three star general at my back
And another one up at the microphone
They call me a hero
And sing 'say can you see'
To the pole where the flag is flown
Everyone stands when my name is called
I alone must sit in the god damn sun, and
Who do you think will push my chair
After the parade is done
Maybe I'll go to college
GI bill
GI bill
Maybe I'll go into politics
Yes I will
Yes I will
I'm glad for the disability benefits
I'm glad for the medals and the ribbons and the songs
I hope the blisters on my fingers
Turn into calluses before too long
I'm glad my mother could be here today
I'm glad somebody drove her
And maybe she will push my chair
After the parade is over
Maybe she will push my chair
After the parade is over
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I don't drive a Mercedes Benz, and
I Don't desire to own one
I'd sooner watch a flower grow than the latest from
Sylvester Stallone
I don't have me a country club membership
I ride the greyhound bus
I don't have a cabin two hours north of here
I don't celebrate Christmas
But it's my country too
Sometimes I gotta remind myself
It's my country too
I pay my taxes
Vote on election day
I stop at stop signs
Just like you
I have never burned an American flag
If I did it was an accident
I have never dropped a bomb or defaced the Washington Monument
But you won't find a flag on my doorstep
On the Fourth of July
Too many criminals try to wrap themselves inside of it
It stands for too many lies
But it's my country too
Sometimes I gotta remind myself
It's my country too
I pay my taxes
Vote on election day
I stop at stop signs
Just like you
My country 'tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty
My country 'tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty
My country 'tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty
If I say it enough times
Maybe I'll remember what it means
If I say it enough times
Maybe I'll remember what it means
Don't try to tell me
For once listen to me
Don't try to tell me
For once listen to me
'Cause it's my country too
Sometimes I gotta remind myself
It's my country too
I pay my taxes
Vote on election day
I stop at stop signs
Just like you
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At midnight in a flaming angry town
I saw my country's flag lying torn upon the ground.
I ran in and dodged among the crowd,
And scooped it up, and scampered out.
And then I took this striped old piece of cloth
And tried my best to wash the garbage off.
But I found it had been used for wrapping lies.
It stank and attracted all the flies.
While I was working crazy at my task,
I heard a husky voice that seemed to ask:
"Do you think that you could change it just a bit?
Betsy Ross did good, but she made some mistakes.
Well blue is good, the color of the sky.
And stars are good for ideals, so high.
Seven stripes of red to meet all danger;
But them white stripes: they could use some changing.
We'll also need some stars of deep, rich brown,
And some of tan and black, then all around
A border of God's green would look good there.
Maybe slant the stripes, they wouldn't look so square."
I woke and said, "What a crazy story.
Don't let 'em say I was messin' with Old Glory."
But tonight near midnight, in another town
Again I see my country's flag lying torn upon the ground.
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Bush must be defeated
Bush must be defeated
Bush must be defeated
Bush must be defeated
Bush must be defeated
His evil gang unseated
His base of power deleted
His energy depleted
Bush must be defeated
Further services unneeded
His departure speeded
There's a land but you don't lead it
Bush must be defeated
The rose garden weeded
A new frontier re-seeded
We'll no longer let you bleed it
Bush must be defeated
This mistake not be repeated
Our desires not go unheeded
We will not twice be cheated
Bush must be defeated
His goodbye coffee heated
His inaugural spats uncleated
His White House bed short-sheeted
Bush must be defeated
His welcome's been exceeded
Successors must be greeted
The imposter excreted
Bush must be defeated
Bush must be defeated
Bush must be defeated
Bush must be defeated
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