Break Up the USA

In Florida, it’s volleyball
New Hampshire, it’s lacrosse
In Dallas, it’s the sheriff
In Jersey, it’s the Boss
What’s taboo in North Dakota
Floats in San Francisco Bay
Break up the USA

Break up the USA
Maybe it’s time to say
Too big around
One flag to revolve
One big union
Time to dissolve
Time to call it a day
Break up the USA

One country
Is the original 13–not to be messed with
Texas, Oklahoma Arkansas
Forms Greater Texas
Virginia, Indiana, Carolina and Kentucky
Will be the world’s greatest basketball playing country
Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois
Will form one great republic
Cheesehead Iroquois
Iowa, Nebraska, Colorado, Minnesota
Will join up with Wyoming
And both of the Dakotas
For Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, ‘Bama, Tennessee
No more fightin’ with those pussies up in Washington DC
Pray in schools, shoot your shotguns off your porches by the dozen
Drag race down Main Street
Marry your cousin

In the People’s Republic of Utah and Arizona
Hang your immigrants, and have an many spouses as you wanna
California, Oregon, Washington
Well, that’s New Pollyanna
On its flag is a leaf of hydroponic marijuana

Alaska and Hawaii
Forms the Great Pacific Shelf
United in its remoteness from everything else
But Alaska and Hawaii’s now got Vancouver, BC
They won it in the War of 2023

And if there’s some states that I forgot
Missouri, West Virginia
Well, there’s sure to be some rogue states
De-stabalizing
Unpredictable
Needing to be invaded now and then
By greater Texas
Or the NASCAR states

What in Texas has them smilin’
Don’t play in Staten Island
What in Bloomfield Hills is Kosher
In Galveston is No-Sir
Can’t expect to play by the same set of rules
In the Salt Lake City, Jacksonville
And New York City schools

Break up the USA
Maybe it’s time to say
Too big around
One flag to revolve
One big union
Time to dissolve
Time to call it a day
Break up the USA

(lyrics: Dan Bern)